What's Your Damage?

https://anchor.fm/lolitaandfrienemies/episodes/Hellenas-Last-Stand-e3b5ai


I won't lie and say I don't get a little gleeful when I watch the chaos that is America these days. I am selfish and bitter. 

I often recall when so many turned their backs on me when I asked for help in my darkest days. I think of many warnings I gave about the flippant behaviors in regards to favoring those who are "somebodies" they lie absurdly, are oppressors, and do wrong. I remember standing up to the injustices of the corrupt and being the only one then losing everything while others just whined about how much they hated the circumstances the corrupters continued to put them in. They only whine. They do nothing else. So, their situation never better but only worsens. The corruption continues and so does the whining. 

I think about how I was called a trouble maker, oversensitive, "you must be triggered." When I did eventually lose everything for standing up for myself I remember the shrugs, "that was your choice." It was my choice. It was my choice to not be victimized be oppressive employers, crooked landlords, and an abusive boyfriend. It was my choice to set boundaries and say no as a human being should be allowed to do when any person insists on violating their well-being. It was my decision to follow the rules then get angry because my life was destroyed by following the rules and those who didn't go on to live happy, healthy and wealthy lives. 

I remember when I asked for help, when I was in desperate need, I was ignored. I remember those same people helping those who already had everything including deceiving hands to take from them.  Well, now, you all know how I suffered. Because you're suffering, too. It will only get worse because even as you have the experience you still don't know. 

You continue to make the same mistakes. You fight the wrong fight. You help the wrong people. You believe deceit. You give to the wealthy as you curse them. You take from the poor claiming to help them. You exploit the marginalized to hide your bias. 

The deep guilt you feel for doing nothing to prevent the horse from leaving the barn isn't going to save you from your fate. The horse is gone and it's wild. I warned you. You didn't listen. You're still not listening. You never will. That will be your damage. 

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